"Polish your language!"--Master
Now and again, the editors of Simply Haiku forward me some anonymous examples of poems that they liked, but which seemed not quite ready to include in the magazine. I go through the poems, writing parallel draft verses on different subjects based in my own experience. (By "parallel verses" I mean verses that attempt to duplicate some aspects of the originals' grammar, poetic structure, and psychological force while shifting the specifics into other times, environments, and subject matter.) I sort the resulting drafts into groups based on the problems I see in them, rewrite them into the best haiku I can make on those experiences--if possible--and report the results in the haiku clinic.
Do you have revision suggestions that you think might improve the poems discussed in the most recent clinic? Or a way that might improve the "final" versions offered beyond where I got them to? Pick one specific poem from among those in the current clinic, and tell me about it. If I like your suggestion, it will appear in the next installment of "Haiku Clinic" along with your name.
To view the current clinic go here: Haiku Clinic.
To send me an email, use the address: "wordfield-at-att.net" [but substitute "@" for "-at-"], with the subject line Haiku Clinic. (Please, only one poem to a customer!)
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